All the Monsters Have Hearts

22 Jun 2010 2 Comments

by dawnrey in Self-care

So there’s this blogger guru that I follow. She talks a lot about those wily, persistent, often self-desparaging thoughts many of us have. The ones that go you’re so stupid why do you even bother trying? and of course you’re going to fail, you will never make it and also where do you get off relaxing? get off your lazy ass and actually get some work done for a change.

What’s in a Name

This coach is a strong advocate of being able to actually name these thoughts, and even came up with the strategy of calling them “Monsters.” This led to a guide she created that helps you name and interact productively with these beasts.

I am playing along and have begun the process of naming my Monsters, which has, quite to my surprise, been empowering. That was an important first step, because now I’m a lot clearer on what issues have been tripping me up lately. There’s the Money Monster, the Laziness Monster, the Unworthiness Monster, the Despairing Monster, and the Hateful Monster.

Just Ask the Monsters

A technique that this lovely blogger employs is to ask the Monsters what they want so that you can figure out how they’re actually trying to help. For example, the Money Monster might be trying to help you stay solvent so that you don’t end up on welfare like your family.

I never said they were rational.

They’re actually quite rash and intense, quick to swoop in and protect you from the inevitable worst case scenario.  They mean well, but they’re big and pointy.

Ow.  

So, I’m working through my current Monsters, and it’s been immensely helpful. There’s something healing about creating separate beings for my negative thinking that helps me understand where they come from and how they work.

Crayons and Monsters

One of the fun products this blogger has produced is a Monster Coloring Book. The drawings of different kinds of Monsters are fabulous, and it’s fun to color these Monsters with crayons. In fact, MM and I sat down the other day and colored in some Monsters. While Monsters for MM aren’t something, at least as far as I can tell, he subscribes to, I will always treasure that meaningful time of coloring together. It was a great tribute to my Monsters, while simultaneously letting them go.

I still have more Monsters to color. I probably always will. But I noticed something so surprising that first night of coloring Monsters, something that gave me hope:

All the monsters have hearts.